Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Judgement Day

Kymee had a melt down at the store today.  


I had the audacity to tell her she couldn't pull a child’s suitcase around the store and fill it with everything off the shelves. I know - I’m a horrible mom.

She fell to the floor and started crying and screaming her high pitched wail … and didn't stop -  I did. I stopped. I stopped shopping. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking like a rational adult. 


The pregnant lady,
 probably with her firstborn,
glared at me as if she knew how to parent better than me.

The old lady looked at me as if to say,
“Back in my day,
I would have picked up my kid and beat their rear- end
if they did that in the store.” 










































And then there was the “perfect mom”
who stooped down to her child’s level, held them by the shoulders,
 pointed to Kymee and said,
“You’re such a good boy for not acting like THAT.”




















I tried to reason with my three year old. Disclaimer: I already told you I had stopped thinking rationally.
I tried to hug her and pat her back. She kicked me and screamed louder.

What I really wanted to do was sit down next to her and cry and scream with frustration. Instead, I looked around for the closest exit. 
If I had been a part of Andres’
“Zombie Survival Squad”
I would have known the fastest way of escape with a screaming toddler.

I left my cart in the middle of the isle – at this point I had to make a choice between offending the poor clerk who would have to restock my stuff or the poor customers who had to listen to Kymee scream. I choose to offend the clerks.
I picked up my screaming child,
headed for the door 

I started singing the first thing that came to my head … “I’ve got peace like a river; I’ve got peace like a river; I’ve got peace like a river in my soul.”  

We must have been a sight to see – a screaming little girl held by singing mom. Too bad no one had their phone camera on for “America’s Funniest Videos.”

I threw her in the car – still screaming, still screaming, still screaming.  As my stress boiled inside of me ready to spill over at any moment, I continued, “I’ve got peace like a river,” I started praying in my head, “Dear God, make the river have rushing and roaring waves which engulf me and drowned me with Your peace.”

As we drove down the road screaming and singing, God gave me peace …
 in the form of a McDonalds  


Now all my “Food Nazi” friends can judge me – you know who you are: you are the ones who posted Face Book pictures of the inside of you fridge to brag about how healthy you eat – or to make the rest of us, who sometimes feed out kids nothing but bananas all day, feel bad. But today, God gave me peace through a McDonalds – because as soon as we turned into the drive through line, Kymee stopped crying. She sniffled and swallowed her sobs along with the French fries.

I stopped singing. Rational thought returned. I survived to tell the tale. I survived the ridicule and stares of strangers. And I learned it's not over til the fat lady sings, and buys french fries.






Thursday, August 1, 2013

There's a Dragon in the Closet

There's a dragon in Kymee's closet.
I could attire a Uganda village of children with the clothes hanging there. Seriously. There are clothes she has never even worn and others she may have worn once or twice. And every day she pulls her silky PJ pants out of the dirty clothes pile and replaces the cute little outfit I put on her. I want to dress her in a new name boutique style outfit every day of the month and all she wants is stinky PJs. I have made the dragon into a pet and feed it regularly. 
Daddy feeds the dragon too! 
I can justify my glamour-girl gluttony.

Some of the clothes were gifts, boughten by others or hand-me-downs.

I’m an amazing shopper and I got great deals on all of it.

I was so poor when my other little girl was little that I never got to dress her how I wanted – so now I have a new doll to play with.

Social workers told us when Kymee was little that her biggest challenge in life was not going to be all the surgeries she’d have to endure but rather being bullied because of her scars and messed-up mouthful of teeth. In my mind, up-dressing her will make her less receptive to ridicule.

Some may wear their pride on their sleeve – mine walks beside me in frilly dresses and converse.
I want to glorify God with the money I have, not use it to feed the dragon in the closet. I want my daughter’s worth to rest in her being created in God’s image and for His purpose – not in the fact that she is the best dressed little girl on the playground.

I have a plan. You can now hold me accountable to it. I have made a list of what I believe she needs for any one of the four season (or the two Texas seasons – Hot and Cold).

Here’s the list:

7 Play Clothes (indoor/outside)
7 shirts
7 skirts or shorts or tutus
7 leggings or tights
1 Sweatshirts
1 Hoodie
1 Painting Shirt or Cotton Dress (Large enough to cover clothes – so she doesn’t always have to paint naked)

This part of the wardrobe is all about Kymee’s new-found 3 year old philosophy of life, “Do it myself.”
Everything has elastic and she can dress herself.
She can pick her own clothes. Everything is mix and match
Fairy PrincessCuteAngelic PrettyFairy Kei Clothes - love for every day look
A Japanese Princess Street Style which isn’t matchy-matchy like buying the entire “Unicorn Garden” collection at Gymboree.

3 Nice Casual Outfts
1 Jeans or Jeggings
2 “Special” Shirts
1 Casual Dress

This part of the wardrobe is all about me, and my pride, and what “I” want people to see Kymee in. 
Emylee feeds the dragon, too. "What
do you mean only one casual dress?
I buy her more than that!" 
4 Church Dresses
One dress a week for a month – then rotate for at least 3 months.
This is about Kymee and me– I’m searching for “silky” dresses which feel like her PJs -  Dresses she loves to wear and are special enough to meet and worship the King of Kings, the God of the Universe.

3 Shoes
Dress Shoes
Boots
Tennis Shoes

Sweaters/Coats
Rain Jacket or All Purpose Jacket

2 Cardigan Sweaters (Pastel & White – for play and dresses) 
1 Heavy Coat

I'm saving money by having her
wear the coats
with no clothes underneath 

Other
3 or 4 “silky” PJs

1 Swimsuit in Fall & Winter, and 3 in Spring & Summer (There really should be a Swimsuit Anonymous for those like me who are addicted to cute swimwear) 
"I'm Joyce Pinero, and I am addicted to buying
too many swimsuits for my daughter."
14 underwear
White & Pink nylons for church
1 Pair White Church Socks
5 pairs white athletic socks  (In my house socks go in the wash married and come out single – picking one type of sock means they can have polyamorous relationships)
 
And of course, a tiara

Fun Accessories (Optional - as I find them at good prices)
2 or 3 necklaces 
Hat – For fashion & fun, not warmth
Knee Socks
Leg Warmers
Hair Bows – Kymee HATES hair bows
Purses – Kymee LOVES purses








I’m slaying this dragon. I’m selling everything in the closet which isn't on the list. I will keep a list in my purse of everything I need to fill in her fall wardrobe and as I find great deals I’ll purchase them. Or maybe I should just buy her a dozen pairs of “silky” PJs and call it a day. 

And with the money I save …
I think I’ll sponsor and clothe a Ugandan little girl. Sign me up, Emylee.





Friday, June 14, 2013

Letter to My Mom



Hi! I have so much to tell you. I have had such a fun year. My favorite color is pink. My favorite food is McDonald's hamburgers. My favorite TV show is Little Einsteins. 
I love to play. 
Inside

I love to play hide and seek. No one can see me in my tunnel.
I'm really good a building with legos and blocks.


Outside
I like having a tea party with my stuffed doggie. 

I love to play with water,
And climbing trees.

Best of all was playing at the beach. 
I go to speech therapy.  
At speech, I play game

and I play bubble to build my muscles.  Good thing I love blowing bubbles.
Maybe I'll be an artist when I grow up. 

I love to paint

and color with markers

and play with play-do.
I love to help cook. 
I love making cookies with my friends. I crack the eggs
and pour the sugar and stir the batter
but best of all is licking the batter off the spoon. 
I just learned how to peel carrots.

I even like washing dishes.



I love to dress up. Everyone says I'm a "girlie girl."

I love tutus

and pretty dresses



And I love wearing make-up!



I love animals
I have friends with goats and chickens. I like to chase them and to collect the eggs. 

Horses are big, but they don't scare me a bit! 

My best friend is my dog, Spartan. I like to chase him and pull his tail. I like to share my food with him  under the table. And I like to lay my head on him and use him as a pillow. I love him.


I love to give hugs and make people smile. I smile and wave at everyone I see whether I know them or not. I love when people smile back.

One of my favorite things to say is, "Rose happy" because I am. 








Love, Rose






Saturday, June 8, 2013

A Special Love

Abuela thought we were crazy to adopt a baby. “You have kids who are married. You’ll be a grandma soon. Why adopt?”

Then she met Kymee. It was love at first sight. The only baby of mine who she hadn't been in the delivery room with – then again, I hadn't been in the delivery room either. No matter, no loss of “bonding.” 









She made up for not being in the hospital delivery room, by being in the hospital for each of Kymee’s operations. She maneuvered around Kymee’s breathing tubes and IV as she sang “La linda monita” to her.














Abuela crocheted her a blanket, and a hat, and bought her little dresses at garage sales. And when Kymee grew out of medically designed bottles, and no longer had to eat through a syringe – Abuela made her hot cereal, arroz con leche, and tembleque. Kymee’s first solid food was a bowl of Abuela’s beans and rice, which to this day is her favorite meal.



Before she could speak, we would pull our van up in front of Abuelo and Abuela’s house and Kymee would smile, squeal and clap.  Abuela was completely dejected when Kymee learned to say Abuelo before Abuela, and would pout if Kymee choose to give Papi a hug before she got one.



But no matter how sick she became, Abuela would light-up the minute Kymee entered the house. Kymee loved trying on Abuela’s hats and shoes, and playing with Abuela’s baby doll and Abuela would share her teddy bears that she’d received from loved ones as she was in the hospital.


Kymee and Abuela shared a love for gardening.  In the spring, when Abuela felt up to it, Kymee would help her water her flowers in the backyard. Kymee would walk around the garden and talk to all of Abuela’s ceramic turtles and frogs which were hidden under the bushes. Abuela would smile, laugh and hug her.


When Abuela was too sick to play, Kymee would sit and cuddle with her, and run around her, and hug and kiss her.  Kymee got scared when she saw Abuela in bed, too sick to play. Abuela told us to take her away and not scare her. Kymee left the room, a few minutes later, she crept back in and laid her favorite stuffed animal on Abuela’s chest, then ran out of the room. The precious gift was received and treasured all day as it remained on her chest.




Kymee may never remember these precious times with her Abuela, but God blessed Abuela through Kymee and gave her joy immeasurable in her final time here on earth.  

Should I be concerned?



Should I be concerned that my 2-year-old, Kymee, doesn't say many words and is hard to understand?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/toddler-speech-development/AN01940

Not when she's this cute


But ...
Sometimes it's so hard to know if Kymee's speech is "normal" 2 almost 3 year old, or if there really is a problem. I listen to her every day - so I probably understand her more than others do. So, I decided to research it. 


Answer

from Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
If you're unable to understand any of your 2-year-old's words, talk to your child's doctor about scheduling an evaluation. Done Speech delay can be an early sign of other developmental issues.So true
Although every child grows and develops at his or her own pace, toddler speech development tends to follow a fairly predictable path. For example, the average 2-year-old:
  • Speaks at least 50 words Yes, but not necessarily understandable words
  • Links two words together, such as "my cup" or "no juice", Yes
  • Speaks clearly enough for parents to understand some of the words Yes - well maybe me more than Nelson, then again Nelson doesn't always understand what our 15 year old is saying
      The average 3-year-old:
  • Speaks 250 to 500 or more words Not there yet - but somewhere between 50 and 250
  • Speaks in three- and four-word sentences Just starting this
  • Correctly uses pronouns (I, me, you, mine) Uses all of these, but not correctly
  • States first name Sometimes, sometimes when we ask "What is your name?" She answers "Two" and holds up two fingers
  • Speaks clearly enough for strangers to understand much of the time NO In fact, I can't understand her most of the time if she's sitting in the car seat and it isn't in context
So, I think speech therapy and age has brought Kymee more into "normal" range, but I don't think she is quite there yet. There are still letters she doesn't say, and strangers who don't understand her - but she's not supposed to speak to strangers anyway. 

So my question is  should I be concerned?